Welcome to life in Linden

A quiet morning apart from the hum of the quilters downstairs.

Alun has disappeared; Janet is in Tenerife; and I am alone and feeling unloved. Who am I? Do I hear you ask? No? Never mind, I will tell you anyway.

My name's Lucy Letters - it was nearly Lucy Lastic but this is a church blog - and I am the administrator of Linden Church.

Linden has never been a conventional sort of church although I fear the leaders may be regressing. (Chris has asked for a liturgy - or is it litany? - as part of the Harvest service; I am supposed to be writing it so I guess I should find out what it is.)

But my printer is taking unconventionality to the extreme. This morning it has printed 22 blank sheets of paper for me. I ask it very nicely to print out a rota and it gurgles, shakes, rattles, chuckles to itself and churns out another blank sheet.

Of course, when Alun wants to print something then it is as good as gold.

Is it the manly timbre of his authoritative voice when he says, 'you will print for me,' that does it? Can it sense my inferiority and my lack of self-confidence in dealing with it? They say you should never let them see your weakness; it has seen, walked in and stamped on my weakness.

No wonder I am feeling unloved.

Things aren't helped by the message that comes up every time I switch on my computer. 'This is a counterfeit version of Windows. Big Brother is watching you. You will be dealt with.'

But, honestly, this version came with the computer. It's not my fault. I am part of the blameless society.

Perhaps it's this room. It locked Janet in the other day.